And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Randomize
