Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
