So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
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