I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Randomize
