my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
