GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
