Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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