As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
