My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
