Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
you guys were way drunker than both of me
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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