You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
