I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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