Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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