Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
