belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
