Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I think a kid would responsible me up
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Randomize
