I look better un-naked...
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
