yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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