Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Randomize
