Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
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