he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
operation harelip BJ is a go
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
