...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize
