I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
