i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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