you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Randomize
