we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
