but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
