Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
