yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
