Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
His nipple licking is glorious
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