i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
My boob is missing a layer of skin
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
