I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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