I love black thongs
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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