I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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