i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
