North Korea, Best Korea!
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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