Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
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