Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
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