just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I don't think brook has ever known best
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
