I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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