After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Randomize
