I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
how drunk are you?
Several
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
