why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
