If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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