If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
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