please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Randomize
