Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
