if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Randomize
