It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
3 2 1 whiskey
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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