i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
