the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
